When our actions come from fear and anger, we hurt ourselves and everyone around us.
People are so often caught up in their experiences from the past. They can’t live past the day that someone said something that tripped them up and threw them off track. They see that one experience as the reason for the countless mistakes in their lives, the reason they held back, the reason it all went wrong. I know this, because I do this. I often find myself bitter and disheartened by the actions of others. Coulda, woulda, shoulda…that type of thinking is one I know all to well. But is it what was said/done to us or was it how we reacted that created all the chaos? It is so difficult to forget about being mad at someone and focus on our own actions. However, I think this is a valuable asset. It is powerful because when we place the blame on someone else, then we take the power away from ourselves to make things right. This is where I think a person can learn to be calm in the shadows of the dark points of their life. Fear comes from a lack of understanding and knowledge, but if we remain faithful in our own abilities and our desire to flourish then we will not emerge from the shadows with imbalance.
When I was a kid, I was terrified of the dark. I would go out and do my chores as fast as I could and then run full speed back into the house. What was I afraid of? Monsters, aliens, murderers…the usual. But now that I am older, I rather enjoy my time spent out alone walking at night. It isn’t that I am confident in the fact that there are no threats, because I know they are there, but I am just more focused on the positive things that the darkness of night holds. That’s all it took, a positive shift in focus…now the thing I once loathed is the thing I love. That said, I haven’t been able to do this in all aspects of my life. I think it is important to recognize this. My negative shift in focus really holds me back from a lot of things. I used to love living a healthy lifestyle, I focused on it as being a positive thing. But somewhere along the line it became a negative thing, I lost sight of my goals and got off track. The further off track I got the more I started worrying about what other people were thinking about me…the more I worried about what other people were thinking, the less I did the constructive things that would have gotten me out of my rut. And at some point you just have to say who cares!? Do what you need to do to be healthy without hurting anyone along the way. For me, isolation is what I need right now to detox from all the negativity. Because here is the big secret: everyone is fighting a battle within themselves and most people aren’t dealing with their own problems in a healthy way. When your own focus is strong and positive then toxic people are less of a hindrance, but when you are on the edge yourself…well then I say it is best to repair your foundation for as long as necessary so that when a storm comes you are strong and ready.